A Bathroom Master in Pieces - Part 1 of 3

This bathroom has so much going on that I need to break it down like a used cardboard box (this reference will be hilarious in just a little bit - ;) wink, wink)

Check out this awesome fall color scheme for the commode area!  They really went all out with the details on this one.  The first thing that catches this guy's eye is the vintage 70's linoleum with a black border.  Did somebody have a good eye for color or is this just symmetrical mold?  The good ones never tell.  

They've also hand brushed each edge of the toilet seat to really bring out the highlights.  The rest of the seat wouldn't look as white if the edges didn't look so crappy.

If you look closely, you can see the careful placement of a hair grouping on the right side of the rim.  Everyone knows that good things always come in threes.  That goes for wishes, money, and body hairs of all types.

The best part is the avant-garde placement of the tank lid.  Most amateurs would just go with the normal, boring arrangement, but not these artists.  They did it Kris Kross style!  This unconventional twist makes me want to JUMP! JUMP! in there and get to work.

(read on for part deuce)

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Remember to wipe...the floor...kinda

Step 1: Misjudge the time and distance to the bathroom.
Step 2: Arrive seconds too early.
Step 3: Crap self, front of toilet, and surrounding floor.
Step 4: Pray no one is in the stall next to you.
Step 5: Say "Aww man, I can't believe I dropped the pudding that I bring with me to enjoy on the toilet" in case someone was in the next stall.
Step 6: Remember you have hand wipes in your pocket from the BBQ place earlier in the night.
Step 7: Make a mental note to never eat at aforementioned BBQ place.
Step 8: Reconsider BBQ place as long as you run faster next time. The ribs were pretty good.
Step 9: Realize that you have poop drying on the back of your legs.
Step 10: Use wipes to make a half-hearted attempt to clean up your mess.
Step 11: Throw wipe wrappers on the floor, seeing as its already covered in scat.
Step 12: Realize all you are doing is making it worse. Its like spreading crap frosting on a bathroom floor cake.
Step 13: Take a second to wonder how you managed to crap over a foot to the left of the toilet and underneath the outside of the bowl. Is it possible you poop defies the laws of physics?
Step 14: Hear the door open.
Step 15: Poop a little more. This time with the pants up, so it's all good.
Step 16: Bust open the stall door screaming that there is a doo-doo monster on the loose and everybody better run for their lives.
Step 17: Rest easy knowing that no one was any the wiser as to what happened thanks to your quick thinking and that 3rd shower.

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PLEASE SUBMIT YOUR JACKED UP BATHROOMS TO SUBMIT@JACKEDUPBATHROOMS.COM

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