Why Does My Car Smell Like Urinal Cake?

I know I can't be the only one applauding the go-getter attitude by the employees at this gas station.  The sheer will and intelligence needed to steal something off the counter and take it all the way to the bathroom to rig up the crappiest air freshening system ever, is off the charts. 

Any normal person would have collapsed half way there and been found 3 days later in a pile of Debbie Cakes, $8 dollar cat food no one is ever going to buy, and dirty magazines.  If they did make it to the bathroom they would probably realize they grabbed a copy of scratched up $1 CD with MooTown's Greatest Hits (a parody Motown CD with cow sounds) by accident.

I can't wait to see their next move here.  I hope it's something as great as windshield wiper fluid in the hand soap or even a flamed up steering wheel cover applied to the toilet seat. 

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Hangup on Hookups

 

This manager knows that the best time to really get a message across is when someone is on the crapper.  You know its serious too, because they brought it down to your level by using street slang.  I am sure they really regret having to take down the previous sign with a clip art thumbs up that said "COOL JOB DUDES AND DUDETTES - YOU GUYS ARE REALLY ROCKING AROUND THE CLOCK!".

 
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Signs of a Concerned File Clerk

 

You know your employer really cares about your health when they go to the trouble of picking up a marker and an old, used manila folder, for your health.  Sure. they could have used a professional sign maker, or used correct punctuation, or connected all the lines in their letters like anybody who passed at least first grade, or even took the time to underline and entire word instead of just part of it, but that wouldn't have meant the same to you or to them.

They even took the time to tear the blue tape with their own jagged teeth instead of using scissors or regular scotch tape.  Next time you see a corporate sign at your place of work be sure to remember there are some people out there who still care about their employees, but not the ones who smoke. 

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Please Stay for Read of This and Don't Steal

Alternate signs that were considered:

Please make squat inside bowl, not for food.

Don't eating toilet jello, its for freshness. 

Bars are for bad legs and back not for swinging.

Please putting lid down after peeing all over.

Flowers are for dead ghost of poops already done.  Please respect.

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